The Amazing Awesomeness of Books

As I am still recovering from my surgery, I’ve got some time on my hands. And by that, I mean some time that I am not sleeping. It turns out that recovering from surgery makes one very tired all the time. I totally forgot that part after my 2 C-sections.

I have managed to catch up on the current seasons of two of my fave tv shows (Haven, and MARVEL’S Agents of Shield). I’ve also gotten almost to the end of the de-dystopianization of EVERGREEN. I’m not going to discuss the travesty that was me attempting to sweep the house yesterday whilst using my walker!.

What I will discuss is the reading I’ve been doing. I typically don’t read two books at one time, but I am doing that right now. My workplace friends sent a magnificent care package to me after surgery. In that box was a book. Some wonderful person at my job knew to get me a book! This book, however, is not something I would have chosen for myself. Why?

A.. It’s adult and not YA.

B. It’s a crime thriller, which not a genre I ever thought I would enjoy.

C. It’s from a super-mega-crazy-popular best selling author that EVERYBODY knows.

Granted, there is nothing wrong with being a super-mega-crazy-popular best selling author. I read Stephen King, for Pete’s sake. But when you read someone like that for the first time, there are a lot of expectations and I think I have mentioned in earlier blogs that I tend to go against the grain and reject popular things without giving them much of a chance. (Exceptions: The Walking Dead, Maroon 5, and the Dallas Cowboys under Tom Landry.)

But, since this person was kind enough to get me, the writer, a book, I committed to read it and give it a chance. My reaction to this book goes something like this:

Book: Page 1: Prologue.

Me: What the what? One of the most often heard pieces of writing advice from agents is that you don’t start a book with a prologue. If you do…say it with me other writers… YOU’RE STARTING YOUR BOOK IN THE WRONG PLACE.  *sighs and keeps reading* 

Book: Page 4. A description of two characters that the narrator is watching. It goes on for three paragraphs. {paraphrasing} He had this hair, these eyes,  was wearing this jacket, got out of this kind of car. She had this hair, wore this dress, walked like this, laughed like this, etc…

Me: The description of two characters goes on for three paragraphs in the most boring way possible?! Most writing experts will advise to find creative ways to fit description in and never ever list more than three attributes at one time. Because it gets boring and reminds you that you are reading a story, not being immersed in a world. But…on the other hand, this narrator is stalking this couple, so he would pay attention to details like that, so I’mma give him a pass on this one. *Reluctantly keeps reading.*

Book: Oh, not just a prologue, but three chapters of a prologue.

Me:  Why not just have them be Chapters 1, 2, and 3? *raises eyebrow and keeps reading*

Book:  A few chapters in and we’ve met the world famous detective that will be solving the crimes. (There are two going on in this book.) He is a grumpy curmudgeon who has a bad attitude and opinion about everything, This is the protag we are to root for.

Me: I don’t really like him. In fact, I kind of hate him, but he does love his children so he gets points for that.  More points for consistency of voice and character.  *tells self to overlook it and keep reading. Billions of people can’t be wrong, can they?*

Book: Chapters alternate between the protag POV and then the POV of each of the two killers

Me: That’s a lot of head jumping. Combine that with the fact that I am also reading AFTERWORLDS by Scott Westerfeld in which one chapter is told from the POV of an author, and the next chapter is the story she is writing. So, essentially I am reading 4 stories at once, plus re-writing my story and plotting another. *Takes Tylenol and keeps reading*

Daughter:  *walks into kitchen where I’m reading book* MOM, I can’t believe you’re still reading that book. I thought you said it was terrible and you couldn’t do it.

Me; *Tells her to shut up and keeps reading.*

Book:  I’ve got you now, Michelle. Right where I want you. You want to know how it ends. You feel a twist coming and you want to know if your suspicions are right. Or you want to know if Mr. super-mega-crazy-popular best seller guy can surprise you. *Mwuahahahahaha* You are mine now. All mine.

Me: *Keeps reading.*

I am not pretentious enough to think that I have the right to criticize or would know anything more than a super-mega-crazy-popular best seller. He’s that for a reason. And obviously when you are an SMCPBSA, you can break every rule ever written. What I think is so cool is that even though I was so reluctant to read this, I finally gave in and I know that I will finish it and like it, in spite of the flaws I found/will find in it.

Books are kind of awesome aren’t they?

Speaking of awesomeness. I am excited to tell you about a book that released today! LOOP by Karen Akins. I met this precious lady when she presented at the ArSCBWI conference this summer. She is friends and crit partners with some of my writer friends, so like, I KNOW HER! (Sort of, but it counts.) Go get this book. It’s going to be time-travelly and romancy and full of awesome! Check out her site here: http://www.karenakins.com/

Loop Book

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